me, the movie critic

Ok, so I'm feeling pretty sorry for anybody out there reading my blog because I fear it's pretty boring lately! I don't have anything exciting to talk about anymore. The only time I leave my home is to go to dr appts. I guess I could bore everyone with details about doctors eh! Anyway, something I do do a lot lately is rent movies from red box. Three or so nights a week Kerry makes the journey to McDonalds and gets us a movie and sometimes an apple pie. One movie that I thought was pretty good was The Illusionist. I thought it was both clever and original, so anyone who hasn't seen it yet I recommend spending $1 at your local redbox and checking it out! Aren't I a great movie critic? I have seen many others but none really worth mentioning. I did kind of like Firehouse Dog, which we rented for Nanny but I ended up watching twice. I am still dizzy all day and very unbalanced, it is very hard to go anywhere so I mostly stay home. I am going to a new alternative doctor in Bountiful that came very highly recommended by a girl in my ward. She has many, many health problems and has been helped a ton by him. Of coarse, he has never heard of Mal De Debarquement but he is hopeful that he can help me. I am very hopeful too! I am still seeing Jonathan up at ABC Mandarin every night too. He doesn't charge and I really think he is giving me energy. I am so determined not to have this for much longer :) I hope everyone who reads my blog is great and having a fun end of summer!

Nanny and friends!

Well summer seems like it's drawing to a close doesn't it? Didn't it just start! I just can't believe it you blink and another season has gone by. I feel like that's happening with my kids too, I've somehow blinked too many times and my kids are bigger than they should be. This summer has been a blur of squealing little girls running in and out of my front door all day. I never dreamed my little Nanny would be running around the neighborhood with little friends already. Where did the time in between baby and four year old go? Dant has grown so fast too, I'm pretty sure she grew way faster than Nanny did. I have been spending my days missing out on the most important things. These past four weeks I haven't left the house much, but I think I've been catching up on what matters most. I am so determined to be a better, more fun mom when I recover. I feel like I have wasted so much time worrying about things that don't matter much. My kids are going to have a whole new mom when I snap out of this! What a blessing for me and them eh! I am so glad that my little girls are having fun childhoods so far, filled with fun and fights with their friends. Nanny's friends are cute, they know that I always have apples for them. What's funny is that they are genuinely excited to have apples! We don't keep popcicles in our freezer (Nanny gets plenty at everyone else's house, so don't think she's completely deprived)! But, what's funny is that they are honestly so excited to have apples anytime they are here. I don't know, maybe their moms don't buy apples. Anyway, I'm happy that they know they can come here and we will always have an apple for them.

My life really is crazy

Who knew when I named my blog My Crazy Life that it would really be so true! My life is literally crazy lately. It sounds really weird, but I feel like I am blessed for having this new trial in my life. I am truly humbled and so aware of the things I need to change and the areas I need to grow in. I hope I can hurry and learn my lessons so my mdds will go away! I have been seeing a chinese healer that is helping to give me energy and is helping see life more clearly. It's really pretty powerful stuff. I appreciate the concern people have expressed for me, it helps a lot. My cousin Robyn even sent me some advice from Chicago. I plan on trying everything! This week I went to vestibular physical therapy as well as the chinese healer and the blood doctor. The good news is that my blood is healthy now, too bad I can't feel the effects! My poor kids have been passed from neighbor to neighbor I feel like, I'm running out of people to ask. Anyway, I'm trying so hard to focus on the good in my life. My husband is a blessing to me and my kids are little troopers. Nanny keeps asking me if I'm still sick and today she even pronounced Mal de Debarquement correctly. I hope I can get better and my kids can have memories of me being a fun mom, that's what I really want to be more than anything. I don't think I really knew what was important until this happened. It was so easy to shew the kids away and clean the house instead of playing candy land. I'm missing out on the fun of having small children. If I gain some perspective from this it will all be worth it. I am very faithful and much closer to the Lord than I have been. The scriptures are a great source of power to me now, kind of ironic because now it is really hard to read them rocking back and forth!
I feel kind of bad because my life is kind of boring now and there's nothing too exciting to talk about. I'm supposed to leave for a family reunion tonight in Idaho with the Knowles gang but I don't feel up to it. I'm sure Peggy will fill everyone in on it though. Kerry and I are going to try to have a dinner date tonight, that ought to be pretty fun I hope. Well, I guess I'd better go feed my kids lunch now!

My diagnosis

This past few days of my life have been an absolute emotional roller coaster. Nine years ago when I went to Hawaii and came back dizzy and sick I never knew what what was wrong with me. I went to every medical doctor and alternative doctor under the sun and nobody could ever diagnose me. Eventually after about four years my horrible illness finally tapered off to almost nothing and eventually was non existent. When I came back from Coeur d'Alene feeling the same way I was pretty scared and still am, but I now have some knowledge. Two days ago I was inspired to call a neighbor and tell her what I was going through. She said she had seen a story about this on the TV program medical mysteries a few months ago. I immediately went to the internet and after a while of searching I found the story and postings from sufferers. It was like I had written every single post on the site, they all had the same exact illness I do. It is called "Mal de Debarquement syndrome" which translates to disembarkment syndrome. You basically go on a boat or an airplane and your brain doesn't recognize that you've stopped moving once you get off. It is truly a blessing to know what was and is now again wrong with me but it is also horrifying. A lot of the people who are on their second time around with it have not gotten rid of it. I am going to enclose a website that talks about the syndrome and has stories of people who have it. http://www.etete.com/mdd/
It is so unbelievable after nine years to know I wasn't crazy and that many other people suffer from this horrible syndrome. I am hopeful that it won't last years again. There is no known cure for this syndrom and treatments seem to be inconclusive. It seems like it just has to work it's way out of your system. One of the saddest things about this is even if it goes away I don't think I will ever dare to get on a boat or airplane again. My traveling days seem to be over. After reading other people's stories I am now wondering if this syndrome is why I have struggled with horrible fatigue. It takes such energy just to think or walk across the room. It leaves the body very fatigued even after it leaves. So many things are coming together in my mind like puzzle pieces. I am trying so hard to be faithful about this, I hope and pray it goes away quickly as raising two little girls with this syndrome is very difficult. Speaking of my cute little girls, I have had people ask me to post more pictures of them. I am going to try to be better about this. I took some pictures of them lastnight but it takes so long to download each one so I probably won't do many.

Coeur d'alene

I haven't written about my vacation yet because I came home with a nasty case of vertigo. I thought it would be gone by now but it's not, so I'm just going to type with the room spinning and rocking. I have been to an ear specialist and I have an appointment with another one on monday to see if they can fix my balance. Now, for the fun stuff. Monday the 23rd we started for our vacation to Coeur d'alene, like I said in my previous blog we stayed in Butte, Montana. It took about six hours to get there, we stopped in Pocatello and ate at a mexican restaurant we really like. We stopped again in Dillon Montana which was only an hour out of Butte. We thought the kids could use a McDonalds stop, they loved it! We got to Butte and were dismayed to see the Hotel pool was closed so we headed to the YMCA. The next morning after our free Continental breakfast we headed out for Coeur d'alene. The kids were a little more restless on this leg of the journey. It took about four and a half hours to get there. We stopped once on the way to eat lunch and change Dant's diaper. We arrived in beautiful Coeur d'alene in late afternoon and met up with Kerry's friend Fred. They used to work together at Kinney shoes years ago. Fred had a beautiful home and made us feel very welcome. His wife and three kids were off at an amusement park all day. We barbequed some hamburgers and then went to the church to celebrate Pioneer day. Fred is the bishop of his ward and they were having a little party with ice cream and some pioneer songs sung by the primary children. We slept at Fred and Sheila's house that night and the next day headed for their cabin on the lake. It was so beautiful! We rode in their boat across the lake to the cabin where we stayed for two days. It's a really cool set up because the lake is right in the town so they can go to their cabin every week and stay there and Fred can still be to work in 20 minutes or so. Sheila and the kids love it, they hang out up there all day while Fred's at work. They are a very close knit family. They have a 14 year old daughter named Sydney, a 12 year old son named Hayden and a 5 year old girl named Shelby. They were all such good friends with each other and the two older ones took such good care of Shelby. Nanny and Shelby were instant friends and had a ball with each other. Their cabin was so much fun, it was two story. Kitchen, family room, bathroom, den, laundry room on the lower level and three small bedrooms and a bathroom upstairs. They basically have a second house in town but it feels like you're a million miles from anything. Unfortunately, I forgot my camera so I took a couple pictures with my cell phone. That killed me not having my camera. Outside of the cabin was a small yard then a ramp down to a floating dock. They had a boat and two jet skis. I spent a lot of time on the floating dock soaking up the rays and watching Nanny swim in the lake. I suppose this is why I am so dizzy now, I still feel like I am on the dock swaying back and forth. I feel like I'm punished for going on vacations. Anyone who knows me well knows I suffered with horrible dizziness after Hawaii for years. I hope and pray this goes away. I can't even drive. Anyway, that's a drag to talk about. We spent a couple of carefree days being pampered by these nice people. We tried to help out but they were so dang hospitable. Sheila cooked really nice meals for us everyday and they wouldn't even let us pay them for food. The first night we made s'mores outside in the yard where they've built a little fire pit. Behind the cabin is a beautiful mountain with millions of pine trees. Anybody that has never been there should try to go. It's nothing like southern Idaho. The second night we took a boat ride to the other side of the lake and got sundaes at a restaurant called Dockside. Friday came too soon and it was time for us to head back to Butte. I've already talked about our last night in Butte, not a bad little town. It was a fun little vacation for all of us. It turned out nice that their kids were the ages they were. The two older ones, especially Sydney loved Dant and Shelby and Nanny were perfect for each other. Hopefully, this vacation won't haunt me for much longer with this seasickness!