The defiant ones

So I thought I would try to have a fun family evening tonight with the kids. I try to take advantage of the times Kerry is here so we can go out with the kids. I thought it would be oh so much fun to go to the mall and eat at the food court and then buy some new shoes for the girls after. Payless is doing their BOGO thing rightnow so I thought we should buy a pair for each child. What a dilemma that was, Nanny found two pair she absolutely had to have and little Dant wouldn't even keep one pair on her feet ( I insisted on her getting some though). I wandered the aisles aimlessly thinking surely there are some shoes here I need, turns out I really don't need shoes rightnow. Here's the problem, I felt like I really needed to buy a fourth pair because I would get the best value. How dumb is that? I was going to buy a pair of shoes that none of us needed just so I could get half off! Intellect finally prevailed and I finally decided that we could in fact buy three pair of shoes instead of four. Woo, crisis averted. This was about the point that Dant started crying/whining uncontrollably and Nanny took off from Kerry and I twice. How many times do I really need to tell her that a stranger can take her before she will finally get it. Anyway, Kerry and I were both totally frustrated by their behavior and decided that instead of letting the girls play on the fun little mall toys they were going straight home to bed. It really was their bed time, we're not just big meanies! I just wonder why some kids stay right by their parents side while mine are always running off getting into mischief. I kind of feel like if I'm to be tortured with this dizziness for my trial in life I should have at least had calm children that don't require a lot of chasing, you know like Joey's kids! I was just wondering if anyone else agreed with me?

I need some advice

I thought I would put this out here because I get so many good comments from people I love. Yesterday when I picked Nanny up from preschool her teacher followed me to the van to tell me she'd had a really hard time at school. I asked her what happened and she told me that Nanny started crying and said she missed her grandma. The teacher was able to calm her down, but a while later she did it again and was pretty inconsolable. When I picked her up her eyes were all red and she looked horrible. She does this on ocassion at home but has never done it at school or anything. I am so amazed that she could remember my mom let alone miss her that much, but she obviously does. I have tried to comfort her and tell her that grandma Jeri is still with us and that we just can't see her but it doesn't seem to console her much. I am just wondering if anybody can give me some good advice on what I can do for her or tell her to help her understand and feel comforted. It breaks my heart when she misses my mom because it brings my emotions to the surface too and makes me miss her more. How do I help her get over this void she obviously has?

fun at arctic circle

Kerry and I thought it would be fun to take the girls to Arctic Circle to play on friday night. It was the usual fastfood experience. Nanny is a good little eater, she finds time to visit the table and grab a mini corndog between trips down the slide. Danny girl is a whole other story, she is the absolute pickiest eater I have ever met, she won't even humor me. She eats about two french fries and calls it a meal, I've learned not to even order for her anymore. I actually did trick her into eating a bite of chicken the other night because I told her it tasted like cake. Go figure, she actually liked it and when I tried it again the next night with pot roast it worked again! Anyway, the girls had a blast playing with each other, Nanny takes such good care of her little sister. It makes me so proud to watch her help Dant up the stairs and then down the slide. We drive way out of our way to go to the Arctic Circle in west Roy because their playground is way more Dant friendly than any of the other restaurants. When we take her to McDs she has a hard time getting way up to the top and if she gets stuck we can't rescue her. It's like little gerbils running through tubes, and these big gerbils just don't fit up there! Going to fast food restaurants is one thing I can actually do and that makes me happy. The girls are both contained so I don't have to chase them, if I try to take them anywhere else it's disastrous. Kerry took Nanny bowling twice in the last week and I didn't dare go because I knew I'd be chasing Dant off the lanes, plus can you see me trying to walk down the lane balancing and holding a bowling ball. Hah!! I'd fall over before I even got to the lane. I have been going to a new alternative doctor, cross your fingers for me. I think seven months of dizziness is long enough!

I had kind of a fun week this week. On Monday I had a playdate with three of my childhood friends and their kids. Me, Annette and Tami all went to Rachel's house for lunch and fun memories. It was fun being with three of the friends I've had for my whole life. We made the comment that the whole gang was almost there. Amy and Amber were missing, but other than that most of the original gang was there. Our kids all had fun playing with each other, Tami had extra because she does daycare. I think she was a little overwhelmed trying to watch her own kids plus extra so she didn't stay as long. We're going to try to do this a couple times a month I think which is so good for us stay at home moms! Valentines day was fun for Kerry and me, we went to dinner and a movie. We had all you can eat chili verde at El Burrito then went to see Fools Gold. I thought it was a pretty good movie, full of adventure and some comedy. Any time you can go out without the kids is pretty fun anyway. My neighbor was so nice to watch our kids. Like I mentioned a couple of blogs ago Nanny started taking dance lessons with out next door neighbor. We usually take turns car pooling, but this week Tamron offered to take Nanny and pick her up and watch her and Dant after so Kerry and I could go out. I was astonished that she would want to do that on Valentines night, but she said she and her husband never go out anyway. I tried to return the favor the next night but her husband didn't want to go out that night either. Guess he doesn't like to go out much.
Kerry gave a talk in church today about missionary work because he is a ward missionary. I had the opportunity of sitting alone with my girls during sacrament meeting. Boy was I worn out by the end. Dant is not one to hold still or be quiet when you ask her, even if you ask her nicely! My young womens president and her family were sitting next to us on the pew so she took pity on me and helped me out. I felt pretty dumb that I needed helpl with two kids, but when I'm dizzy and Dant is uncontrollable I really do struggle. Oh, the joy of being in sacrament meeting with young kids. It isn't my season to get much out of sacrament. The family in front of me had four kids and they all say there like little angels. My kids never sit there like little angels, is it something I'm doing or is it their personality? Just something I wonder about.

a look through my eyes

A couple of weeks ago abc ran a story on people with my condition. I thought I would put a link on here so people could watch if they were interested. I can totally relate to the two women on the story. I cried when I watched it because I knew exactly what they were going through and I know they know what I'm going through, and that's something few can understand.

http://abcnews.go.com/video/playerIndex?id=4180415

an 8 year anniversary

This week Kerry and I celebrated eight years of knowing each other. Tuesday the 5th was the anniversary of our first date. Every year we try to reenact our first date. Annette watched our kids and we went to Golden Dynasty for dinner and then saw National Treasure 2. Our first date we went to Golden Dynasty then fed ducks up at Weber State then saw Galaxy Quest at Tinseltown. We decided it was too cold to feed the ducks this year, also it's just harder to be gone as long with kids that need to get to bed. It was nice, we picked our kids up at Annettes and she had bathed them and put them in their PJs for us. What a good babysitter! Some years we go out to eat and then rent Galaxy Quest and come home and watch it and some years we go see a new movie at Tinseltown, either way it's a fun tradition.
Monday Annette and Rachel came over with their kids and we had a playdate and made lunch together. It was fun. It's been fun getting to know my friend Rachel again, we haven't really hung out since jr. high. It seems like we haven't missed a beat. Her youngest daughter Hope and my Nanny took to eachother like they were long lost friends. It's been fun! Wednesday Nanny woke up sick and so we've had a pretty uneventful week ever since. I had to keep her home from preschool and dance class on thursday and she's been pretty bored. She had three friends call today to see if she could play and I had to tell them all no. She's a pretty good sport about it I think. She plays with Dant a lot which is good. Today they were playing in Nan's closet and Dant got her little fingers pinched in the closet door. It was pretty bad, one of them looked pretty flat for a while but seemed to inflate again. Poor little monkey, she was pretty miserable for a while. We just had a special date in the living room. We made popcorn and spread out a blanket in the living room and watched a Barbie movie. It was pretty fun!

snow, snow, snow

I can't believe all of this snow we've been getting this winter. We are running out of room to put it all. I guess it's a good thing, they say! I was so bummed that it snowed the day of Steve's memorial, the weather was so awful. I couldn't believe all the people that braved the blizzard just to come and be with us. It turned out nice I think, I think Steve would have liked it. I had a really neat experience that night while I was lying in bed. I'm always wide awake while Kerry is snoring next to me and that's the time when I think a lot. When I was laying there I felt like I had just spent the day with my mom, like we had gone to lunch or something. I hadn't noticed her presence too much during the memorial I think because I was too busy and focused on Steve, but that night I definitely know that she had been with me all day! I just laid there basking in the warm feeling of her love, it was so wonderful to feel that loved again. No one loves you like your mom! I think that my mom was pleased with what we did for Steve. I am so glad that he is with her, sometimes I'm jealous. I want to see her too! This whole experience of him dying has been so amazing. Long lost friends have reached out to help, neighbors that didn't even know him sat through his whole memorial, my heart has been touched by the goodness and kindness of others. I am so amazed at how much people care and of coarse I am grateful that Steve isn't suffering anymore. What a blessing it is to know I will see him again someday and when I do he will have grown so much and we can be a family forever.